Thinking about different aspects of my life in Iran, I realised that being inside a house or out in the city was a very different experience under Iran’s theocratic state. There are significant or sometimes even paradoxical levels of safety, freedom, control and a sense of belonging in each space. 

This exploration through my memories reminded me of a day on a bus in Iran when I reflected on my sense of not belonging. I suddenly looked at the people who were on the same bus and thought: If they knew I’m a Baha’i, how would the people who are now sitting peacefully next to me react? What would they do to me? And as well as being frightened by the thought, I suddenly felt very detached and distant from those people. I wished to not exist at that moment while I was thinking about what they were capable of.